Welcome to Wings of Hope

A Story of Hope and Inspiration

 Good friends are like Angels you do not have to see
 them to Know they are there!!!!

May the New Year Bring you many Blessings and New Beginnings


  He gives me Hope for today Faith for tomorrow and a Spirit that will not fail me-

He is my light in the dark never to busy or faraway to hear me and show Himself to me in someway-

He will wipe my tears fill me will strength from the weakness for the things
 He has for me to do-

He taught me that the things bring the pain have a purpose that is much greater than me-

  He has shown me Blessings beyond human understanding over and over through this journey and given me the words to share-

He is the reason my Heart beats, Feels love has Compassion in all the trials I will walk through without any doubts I will be safe-

He has given me strength to face the weakness stumble and fall get up again but if I can not I can crawl to the bed on my knees and Pray-

He has taken a broken person and given them a gift to heal through brokenness in me so He will is known to have Faith-

 He has shown me over and over that you can worry for thirty days on the twenty ninth day He will be there ever increasing my Faith-

He has show me that even though many things come against me those that are enemies will become friends- 
He touches some ones Heart how Blessed they are when they see someone else’s suffering-

He is the reason I will rise everyday clear the fog of fear and doubt and see my way safely-

 He is the gift I will Cherish everyday of my life for so many things for He gave me life-

 He taught me one kind word can change or save a person and to share His words if I have none of my own-

He taught me that even burdens are gifts disabilities just create a new ability for change the choice is mine-

 He gave me a chance to stand on Hallowed ground and if I fall he picks me up I can never fail Him only myself -

No matter what I do HE is the only ALWAYS in my life ! For HIS are the only ways Amen  From Cindy Russell 2012


 Head and Neck Lymph Edema 

SIde effect of surgoes removal of lymph nodes and cancer treatment . Swelling , loss os use of some nerves due to pressure of the fluid, pain , vertigo and possible serious infections help educate the pateints the public and get the medical system involved.

Just stopping the surgeries after they realized what a radical neck dissection could do does help the many people that already suffer.

Please see the link on this pag

You made it to find out that something you where not told about can destroy you and those around you. Help me to spread awareness on Lymph Edema get the medical, the people that see these Bills come before them aware. Someone who survives the surgereis, the chemo, the radiation should beaware of a silent enemy that is still out !! But there are highly knowledgeable doctors working on it but thet have no support or funding. Even when finally diagnosed no trained therapist. Time to raise awareness of this little known dangerous and painful side effect side of cancer treatment that effects million Please visit the site for more info and what you can do and if already suffer from lymph edema join me.



For God so loved the world ,that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in him should not perish, but have everylasting life.
John 3:16

Cherish Life Live-Laugh-Love for it is a Gift !!!!     

Hello Everyone and Welcome A place I am sure many of you can relate to as we go through each day with a Hope for the best, Spirit to Overcome and Faith for Another Day !!!!


He Counted Me


Every night when I lie down and feel that another day is just not possible

defeated by so many things


Then I wake up and say thank you God for him –

Your son who walked a path before me that was filled with trials to

testify of your love for me-


I say thank you Lord for the lessons I learned today


He can lead my through the darkness, the fog and the problems that

block my way to light


I hear your words Lord calling me onward


When I am silent and there are no words that can express what

I am going through you God remind me


That I speak out your glory that nothing is impossible with him


Believe in him for he is real and good he will give you rest

from all things that challenge your belief


For remember he never is far away from you he lives in you


A moment, an hour, a day of peace for you when you give it to him

let go of it Pray and let go


Now give praise to him that he took it enjoy the peace


He is counting on me to rise above my fear and to my place of

glory as his daughter full of hope


He is the answer to all the things I can not answer


I am a miracle of life and will live mine for him from this point on not counting on myself but him


I am free from myself and judged only by him


Thank you God for each and every happy, sad and glorious moment that you gave me to show others your way


May I always be where I am now in your arms


When you counted all those who would glorify you that I was one of them you counted on it was all worth it now that I can see


You God counted Me  





 The Puzzle


Years ago after many years of struggling with who I was, why was I here,

 what had I done,


A dear friend gave me a puzzle piece I gripped it tightly as she spoke words

Of Gods kindness and hope,


I listened as she told me I was like that piece I had been shaped by God to fit

Where he planned for me,


I carried it with me and thought of the puzzles I had done and if one piece

Was missing it could not be complete,


So you see this simple piece reminds daily that I am part of something that

Is yet to be finished,


I am Gods daughter and though the edges are finished and most of the inside

Is done there is a place for me,


Only he knows what the final image will be and just like the wear and tear on that piece I have carried the edges have changed from being exposed to many years of being carried with me


the shape of my self  has been molded by my walk through life and the changes that have reshaped me as well,


I was never lost on the floor or missing from the box I was just walking through and down the path to peace and was always in his site,


Now the edges are formed and the piece will fit where it was to be and all will be as he planned for me -Amen

Turn the Pages



I pick up my pen and journal again today almost too weak to hold them yet I find the strength once again


As I turn the pages from the days past full of so many emotions till I get to a new page blank


Those pages are full of a battle of my Faith and the things that challenge it daily


This day I read over again a letter another piece of paper that tells me my fate yet I am still here


I cry out on my knees how do I make it through another day and the tears turn the words on the paper to a blur


Once again that evening before bed I write my last sentence for the day my fate unknown no more tears left


I hear a voice that says count the journal pages my dear daughter for there are many and will be many more


You see you know the words on my pages and they have given you the strength and Faith to pick up that pen again


For you my dear daughter will glorify me in those words you write and be a testimony to who I am


You see only I know how many times you will pick up that pen and how many pages you will turn


For as long as you write there will be hope for another day just as my Words gave you Faith your words will have life


So keep turning the pages and I will hold your hand and steady it when it becomes weak for I am your strength and I am with you





I Have found that putting my feelings into Words with Pen and Paper have helped me to get through many a momnet with my thoguht process was just overwhelmed somehow it is was much clearer in black and white.

The Whisper


I stand alone and look at who I am, where I have been feel the water trickle down my cheek not enough strength to take another breath


My voice cries out and is no more than a faint whisper but He hears my cries when those around me do not


As I live in the earthly body a prison of pain a lost and lonely soul as everyone bustle’s around me I feel His presence


When I am not able to see anything but a sad existence He whispers I know my plans for you worry naught my child


As it gets quiet and everyone has gone the whisper becomes a Roar I am here you where never or will be alone


Do not let the ways of this world and those that do not know me drown out my voice or your Faith in Me


Lean on Me, Speak to Me, Pray to me I will help you this moment and all those to come turn down those that take your Peace


Just as I follow your Whisper follow mine for I will lead you away from the noise to where I am a Roar that can not be silenced


There you find the strength to rest in me till you to can Roar and know that I did not create you to Whisper but to yell from the mountain high


For all that you have and will go through was not meant to make you silent and weak no it was to show the power of your Faith


Many things will challenge it and the struggle will go on but in the end My  will be done you shall rise out of darkness and shine


For you my precious daughter where chosen long ago to walk through this for I gave you a gift that nothing here can crush


A heart, spirit and soul that could move mountains so soar my child to the top where you are free to find your voice again Sing my Praises again Amen

Transformed By God


Do you sometimes feel that you are wrapped up in lives worries so

tight you can not move


Like a cocoon wraps a beautiful butterfly waiting to be reborn from its

former self


While it hangs there waiting it is blown by the wind battered by the rain

Back and forth hoping to hang on


That is what God wants for you to a transform for you with a renewed spirit,

 soul and hope


All that you have done or once where is forgiven by his loving grace,

forgiveness and unconditional love


You are now a new person like that butterfly full of  beauty able to fly free from the past into a beautiful future


The old has fallen away and been shed as he shed his blood for you to have this moment of rebirth as his daughter


Now let your heart and spirit be free of the worlds grip of what if and know

you are perfect in his eyes


The transformation is complete you have rested in the cocoon of Gods love

and your life is now dedicated to him


Everyday a new adventure of what is possible in the days to come and what

he will do in your life


Awake everyday and praise him for this for you have been reborn --- Amen

I Stop and Pray


Each day when I wake up with a new day ahead of me and wonder what will this day bring


I stop and pray thank you God for another day


As the day goes on full of trials and the peace it began with is broken by a hurried existence


I stop and pray for God to give me the strength to face it


When the day becomes full of problems that I can not face full of fear and doubt I can not deal with


I stop and pray God give me faith in who I am


As the day goes on and my strength has run out my mind wants to run and hide some where safe


I stop and pray God give a spirit of hope and not defeat


When the day is going down a path that I can not see any light at the end of it and need to find peace again


I stop and pray God light my way


When I look around and I feel so alone and lost as if no one sees me at all and feel invisible


I stop and pray God shine a light on me


Finally at the end of the day when I have exhausted all my strength and I am at my weakest


I stop and pray God restore me


When I lie down to sleep and close my eyes and rest my tired body and mind not sure if tomorrow will come


I stop and pray God watch over me tonight


In the next days light I awake and feel peaceful another new day

 a head with hope again


I stop and pray thank you God -Amen

A Prayer for Forgiveness


We are driven to search for love and acceptance from the moment we are born as if by

instinct so strong to be accepted-------


First we try and achieve great things to get us noticed and give a feeling of worth

From the others around us-------


We look to those closest to us for love and even strangers for acceptance only to still

fill empty inside------


Soon we discover that the love we are searching for is stronger than any other and his acceptance is our salvation------


The relationships we have with those we love are based on our ability to understand

true unconditional love, trust and forgiveness------


In life things do not always go the way we want them to and then we look to ourselves or

others for what went wrong------


What could we have done differently and how could we have let these precious moments slip through our hands------


We need to remember God created his son in our likeness to show us his ways through many trials but not to blame or shame us ------


But since we can be of a sinful nature we sometimes fall short of that and become lost

blame ourselves or others-----


Then it is time to remember that Jesus story told of many times when things where not perfect but he gave his life for change----


He shows us everyday his love by his actions in our life but most of the time we miss

those moments in our hurried lives------


Stop and take the time to look at your life and the many times he forgave you and pray for his forgiveness ------


Pray to God that he showed love involves sacrifice good and bad his was the ultimate one of his only son----


Pray to him and be thankful that his acceptance is already yours and you need not seek it anywhere but through God -------


Live each day as the gift that he gave you to share with the ones you love, family, friends

accept the good with the bad and give forgiveness  no matter the blame-------- As he did


The Journey



His journey began many years ago when he came to a place full of sin and lost souls


A barefoot man whose name no one knew


He reached out to those that would listen and made leaders of those who understood


His words sometimes misunderstood


He could heal the sick and feed the poor part waters and walk on them


Sometimes some had to die so we could understand


This man new he was on a journey and what it would cost him


The pain he would feel in this human form


So as we journey through this life each day has its trials and problems


We need to remember each one of us belong to him


Just remember we to can heal with a kind word or warm hug


Yes you can make a difference too


We can part waters for someone we love or a stranger so they can get through


Help them find their way when they are lost


So today say hello to a stranger tell your husband you love him and hug your kids


Remind them of him that gave all


We receive a miracle everyday because of him remind anyone and everyone he did not die in vain


The journey must continue in the years to come through us his children till will all go home


To our father as he did his where he will be waiting with loving arms-

Reflection of Him


We look at the image in the mirror of ourselves for answers of who we are

why are things not going well


We keep trying to change that image in the mirror to find comfort or peace

But it is only a physical change


It does not ease the feeling of not being whole and why we are not happy

with who we are


We need to stop looking and feel what is within the flesh and look into our

heart and soul for peace


The only reflection that matters is that of God and how we are in his likeness

in every way


We where created by him not to judge who we are or others by the appearance we are all different


But he created us all equal in his love and gave us all the choice from the day we where born to be saved


Stop looking in a mirror look into your heart open your ears hear his words he who created you let them reflect in everything you do


Praise him give thanks and pray that the only reflection you see change everyday is the reflection of him in you


This is the only way to truly have peace within that will reflect in everything you face each day for it is his will


He is your mirror   Amen


Do You Know Him


His words can comfort those when all seems lost read them out loud hear them repeat them out loud-


Sit quietly and listen while they fill your heart the promises that will not be broken-


When all seems lost look to him for he will find you wherever you are and lead you to safety-


No matter how dark it is where you are he will bring the light to those who seek it -


When you are tired rest in his arms he will not let go or let you fall he offers rest, peace and comfort to all-


He has shown us hope and the answers to all our questions if we look in the book that tells of his life-


You can call him anytime his phone is never busy or his plate too full his ears reach far and wide-


Let him fill your spirit with wisdom, peace and hope feel his presence lean on his understanding-


He will bring you comfort in all that you face in your life and be with you through everyday-


Ever thought you have he knows do not worry his love has no end you can not disappoint him-


Open your eyes to the beauty of this simple and loving man who gave it all died so we could live do not forgot what he did for us-


Live as he did forgive, love, teach, lead and believe for your spirit is strong because of him


They call him Jesus Christ -----


My Father Says


Do not let the pain take away your joy you are not being punished

Or an accident but a gift-


Do not let the sickness of the flesh take away your inner strengthen

To worship him or your voice to sing to him-


Do not run away from life in fear but face it with the

Courage, wisdom and faith I have given you-


Do not hide in a place of darkness and loss but shine through it

As I created you to do-


Do not let the fear around every corner stop you from standing

For I am here holding you up-


Do not stay silent about the world’s circumstances speak loudly

With conviction my daughter-


Do not worry about what you can not do anymore just know that

You are serving me in whatever you do my Daughter Amen

When its Dark


Most of us at one time while young where afraid of the dark


We would cry out and mom and dad would run in and comfort us


As we go through life the dark returns in other forms the fear just

as real


Not able to cry out for mom and dad anymore the fear grows and we stumble

in the dark


There are no lights turn on expect one the light of our Heavenly Father


He protects us from the dark sheds light on our  thoughts, path and gives us direction 

 safey to the brightest light you could ever imagine


We just need to open the Bible instead of looking for the light switch

to find this light 

No one can ever turn out this light it is their for you forever for our God is the keeper of the the light

He is your Father and will always be just a page away with light in the darkness 


My Dear Friend


I lost a very dear friend and important person who I shared my most

Important feelings with-


The feeling of loss is so deep and as with a deep cut it can not

Be healed-


It would need stitches not of earthly thread or doctor’s sutures but of



I do not know how to fill another gap in my life each day brings more struggles

To face-


I talk and I hear my words but not really it is a just learned behavior to just

 speak them-


Blessed with many great people in my life as well as gifts I only see the struggles

And the failures-


My life was a struggle of moods of sadness, anger, fear and self inflicted judgement of myself-


People I love can not help, smiles, laughter, always covered by mask of sadness

I could not remove-


I prayed to change it as the world kept throwing it at me and I kept catching it

As I felt I deserved,


Now tired and broken in spirit and flesh I had to surrender and when I stepped

Aside he stepped in

My best friend was back who could Heal with His forgiveness


Path to My Jesus


                          When the days begin with fear and doubt of what is to come

Jesus is their with hope of a better day


When you can not seem move or take another breath

Jesus has strength for both of you


When your mind cries out why what do I do now

Jesus will answer you with his words of comfort


When you know all is lost and fall to your knees

Jesus will find you and pick you up


When you need a helping hand to get through it

Jesus will hold your hand and lead you


When you are weak and can not walk another step

Jesus can carry you to the safety of him


When the tears fall down your face and you can not see

Jesus can wipe them and remind you someday there will be no more


When you look to him he will answer with the love that you forget existed

Jesus will remind you are not alone and never will be


Thank you Jesus for seeing me in this sea of loss and doubt and pulling me

Out of the waves


For you will never let me drown in lives worries for you know me see me

Created me without these physical limits


You see the spirit that fights inside of this heart to be with the one who created

her heart and soul


When the world has given up on me and I have become a burden broken in

this worlds eyes


You my savior will have a place for me and will be waiting with open arms I will see

Heavens Gate and you -----











 I Fought and Feared on My Terms !!!

 My life was like I had become the disease and No One could possibly understand what I was going through. By this time all the excitement over the diagnose of the cancer had worn away. People had rallied around in the beginning but as things got worse soon they disappeared one by one. The vacation and sick leave was gone  --alone I realized feelings of many emotions of self-pity, loneliness, anger and bitterness

Paper and Pen once again my friend ---I wrote

“ I “


I stumbled through the days in darkness lost and full of pain –


He was the light and healing


I tripped over every obstacle each day beaten and bruised-


He was the straight path to healing


I feared every decision and step I took in lost in life -


He knew the path to faith not fear


I worried where I would end up where I was going-


He knew where I was to be


I looked in the mirror and saw nobody of worth-


He saw his beautiful daughter


I finally fell to my knees to weak to stand anymore-


He kneeled beside me and whispered I am here


My Heavenly father said there is no I in us --------


Saved from yourself----

  What Now God?

I had always had my Faith it had been there through all the things life could throw at me. The many times I prayed for my family and friends. I always felt that I was safe ,so it would only be fitting that the first question I would scream out would be Why ? What Now? I know you know the answer to this suffering, but I am in a place where I am hearing words like death, six months, will, power of attorney. This was a place where the words where cold and right to the point . I was just an other number in the statistics--Where are the words of comfort and sensitivity !!!! 

Pen and paper again my only friend as I write ------

Only Up from Here


We all fall from grace, fail at being sin free and lose our way down the path of

being with him----


But God is always there to catch us, forgive our sin and show us the way back

down the path to him -----


When you doubt that you can or ever could make the bad go away he is there to

remind you of your strength and his forgiveness -----


His love will bring you through all the holes of the world’s ways back to Holy

ground again------


He knows of those things that seek to turn you another way away from the safety

of this loving God-----


When you feel their is no way he can protect you from harm that is to come to

his protection is yours----


Many times over and over when we get lost he will come to us there is no limit

to how many times-----


Wheter they are our best moments, worst moments or just to much for us he is

there not keeping score-----


He created us, knows us and knows the outcome of each of our actions and wants

us to give it to him------


So if you our on your knees or on the floor face down he will pick you up again

and again ------


It is not a free fall with no hope God is in front of you behind you and all around

you always-----


See there is no limit to his love our how many time he will pick you and lead you

again to him--------


You see when you are down and see no hope Gods promise is there is only up from

there with your Heavenly Father------


Some comfort in this sea of darkness !!!

Wings of Hope



   My God shows me signs everyday of hope as they give me the news

 These days are filled with doubt and I look to him for Hope


When a moment comes that the pain eases and the fear stops


Just listen quietly and you can hear their wings


His Angels always there watching over my every moment


There to lift me up and carry me to safety out of harms way


His Heavenly Angels sent from above to show Gods love


Just close your eyes and you can see them


What a beautiful moment it is when I hear the wings of Hope


Knowing that Heaven is only a short distance from me


They can be here in a moment a blink of an eye


Just open your eyes again and you will see him


Look at him into his loving eyes as he says I am right here


Do not be afraid for I have come to be with you touch his hand


Feel the healing touch as his love fills you with Hope again


Just rest right there your spirit renewed for another day

They where all around me as I went through the many trials   always watching over me !!!

Hello my name is Cindy Russell from Livermore Ca. This is my testimony and story to never stop Believing. A story of the desire to fight and gives inspiration to live each day. A dream of making a difference however I could. From opening a business Where the Magic Begins where many a friendship was made, to a real life Cinderella Wedding here in Livermore carriage and all. Through many a stressfull day and sleepness night in my life once the word cancer was spoken that day my life changed

Sometimes it was all I could do to get out of bed but something inside of me pushed me on. On this site I hope to share with those affected by illness, disablilities and loss and their loved ones to have Hope. Through it all I was given the chance to realize many things that get past us most of time. This is why I journal on Wings of Hope.
We can change things if we work together. One  word can change your whole exisitence as you knew it. I have lived my life like a roll coaster through the ups and
downs. After being mis-diagnosed and battling with the medical system to get help. Having to learn to become my own advocate in the medical system. While trying to fight off the questions in my head.
From Am I Going to Die ? What about my family ? Trying to gain control of the thoughts that race
through my mind. Learning to  deal with Panic Disorder. Then an eating disorder there is no where to run from the devastion that an illness can bring upon you and those around you. I found help through my family, friends and Faith. In my case living with cancer seemed harder than dying the unknown, the depression, the pain all the What If's ?

Once my disablilites became so severe that I could no longer contribute as I had my whole life. I felt worthless and a burden to those around me. Fear was my best friend. I could not break its hold on me. Everything came to a stand still. But somewhere inside of each of us is the will to survive at all costs. Faith !!!! But first you have to overcome the fear break the hold it has on you. That is where my Faith and Spirit  took over and reminded me every life has a purpose, eveyone has something to say and every sitituation has a story to be told.

I began to pick up the pieces and write it was a way for me to express what was on my mind during all those dark moments. The words on paper made it more real as the pages came to life. I shared it with others and they where able to apply it to their lives in many ways as well. I always felt that Angels where watching over me since I was a young child. The beauty in knowing they where watching over me now while I laid there through all the tests, the waiting for the phone to ring with the results. Praying God please help me to get through another day.

Wings of Hope allowed me to share that even though we may change phyiscally. That we are spirit is still very much alive. I Hope that others who face challenges wheter it is illness or anything that causes them to be lost will find the strength for Another day in themselves.

 This is my story and my gift to my family, friends and all who are touched by this illness. It took the Cindy we all knew into a corner alone.I found there is always comfort in numbers one alone in the dark is small and afraid. But, when you realize you are not alone through something visual you can hold onto or read words that speak as if you had spoken them. It can give you strength.
Many of us face different kinds of challenges and we try and face them alone. I hope my story helps others reach out to each other. I pray that Wings of Hope will help inspire those who are fighting cancer and those around them to keep up the fight to there is a cure for all !!!!!! 

 I am Hopefully that these words will help others to find their Hope
and Inspire them to fight for their own Dreams

I found that sometimes there are not enough family, friends, counselors or doctors to help you find your way. I had to look inside and find away to deal with it or I could just give up. 

How do you LIVE with Cancer? The limitations it puts on everyone.
I realized that everything I said could be words that would latter have a terrible hold on us so in this chapter I share some about that----
Cancer Do's and Dont's
Let's talk a little about that. What do you say when you do not   
know What to say?Sometimes its better to say nothing till you figure it out.There is of course many phrases that are commonly used. One of the ones that affected me the most was WE are all going to die ! That maybe true but it has a whole knew meaning when it is coming at you like a freight train. Or it is your child who just began life. The other one you are so LUCKY to have your husband stand by your side through this most would have left. This one is very important since while you are sick your esteem is very low. It is very important that no one should feel that they are any less of who they
where. If they loved you then they love you now. That statement is a stero-type from today's world where marriage itself is a revolving door. There is plenty more on this subject 


Finding ways to make the best of a bad situation through making sure every one has a chance to express themselves. Help from the outside is great but those on the inside need to know what to expect. This has a lot of different suggestions to help everyone cope with it together. Make sure that you are aware of those around you and how they are dealing with it. Life still goes on around you and their instinct is to feel bad about feeling good. Watch for silence let them know its okay. Then of course there is anger sometimes from both sides as sick and the well try and co-exist in lives daily actitvites. An example we can not go today Mom is sick try to have backup plan. The home should be a safe place to share what everyone is feeling. 
Things like charts for their sick family member's care, doctor appointments, list of medicines and do not leave them helpless or give them away to blame themselves if someting goes wrong. This is especially true with children and young adults.One example perhaps would be when I found passed out and the paramedics arrived and asked them what is wrong with her? What medicines is she taking? An already scary time and then more fear when they have no answers. Trying to protect them from worrying is instinct but the benefit of being realalistic is protecting them as well- having a plan will benefit everyone.

 Below I express the many feelings and emotions that where present everyday and my way to deal with them was to write. As someone who loved spending time around people and worked my whole life till I was home bound---
God Bless you all as well will all face our own Journey !!

All Images and poems Copyright Wings of Hope Cindy Russell Designs

Turn the Pages


I pick up my pen and journal again today almost too weak to hold them yet I find the strength once again


As I turn the pages from the days past full of so many emotions till I get to a new page blank


Those pages are full of a battle of my Faith and the things that challenge it daily


This day I read over again a letter another piece of paper that tells me my fate yet I am still here


I cry out on my knees how do I make it through another day and the tears turn the words on the paper to a blur


Once again that evening before bed I write my last sentence for the day my fate unknown no more tears left


I hear a voice that says count the journal pages my dear daughter for there are many and will be many more


You see you know the words on my pages and they have given you the strength and Faith to pick up that pen again


For you my dear daughter will glorify me in those words you write and be a testimony to who I am


You see only I know how many times you will pick up that pen and how many pages you will turn


For as long as you write there will be hope for another day just as my Words gave you Faith your words will have life


So keep turning the pages and I will hold your hand and steady it when it becomes weak for I am your strength and I am with you



 Broken But Not Forsaken

For those of you who feel Broken as I did not able to function anymore. While I was ill everything was like  a hurdle I could not climb over let alone get over. My strength was gone and I needed healing so this image came to me with these words to encourage me to look to him to heal my Broken Heart---

Pencil and paper my friend I created this image and words for those that need , or know someone that needs some Inspiration--

Broken best describes the moments of my life before him

 My heart broken and each day brought a new crack

life became about pain and my heart cried for healing


was I the only one who prayed to be free of this suffering


A lost soul with ears for his words to give me an answer

When he answered he said no my child you are of many
I came to heal and died on the cross to give you life

 So you would suffer no more his name was Jesus--Amen

 How to Find Encouragement

When your mind and body is attacked by an illness sometimes it is all you can do just to move. The emotional and physcial limitations are beyond understanding the simplest things like taking a shower getting dressed. Have a whole new meaning. It is sometimes all you can do to think clearly---

Pen and paper again my friend I wrote

Awaken Me


God as my heart and soul are so tired and drained as if asleep from many trials


Awaken my Spirit through you


God as I sit back to tired and watch everything around me begin to fall apart


Awaken my Strength through you


God as I begin to feel scared surrounded by fear all around me


Awaken my Courage through you


God as this world has me questioning what is real and will I make it another moment


Awaken my Faith through you


God as I feel to helpless to change anything that is going wrong in my life


Awaken my Hope through you


God as my mind has struggled with all the circumstances I spoke of today


Awaken my Wisdom through you


God now let me use these words and wisdom to awaken each day and glorify you

This shares the battles of those that face this kind of helpless feeling the words in bold that gave me strength. 

Journal Yourself to Peace 
Each and every take Pen and Paper

I  hope that these would someday give some comfort to the ones in my life who where affected by this illness and what it did to change me. For the days when I cried, days when I yelled for no reason, for all the things I could not be anymore, everything I missed and finally to maybe help them see through my eyes

Seven Days A Personal Journal


Unlike others seven days of the week has a whole different meaning for me as I battle

 this illness trying to live each moment in faith


Monday the start of the work week for me is the first day of fear after the weekend when everyone is home as I try to stumble through the house alone


Tuesday the day begins again and the nurse arrives to give me a check up and see if anything has changed after she leaves I cry a little


Wednesday I usually have a friend drop by to spend some time with me and get to go outside and see the beautiful sky, the flowers and watch the dog play


Thursday the nurse is back again once again to check on things after she leaves again I cry a little more and pray a lot


Friday my appointment day the visit to the therapist to learn how to react to dying with out getting depressed as well as tests, scans and see the doctors


Saturday I wake knowing I have a day with my family my husband at my side we pick up my grandson even though I can not lift him anymore seeing him brings my heart joy


Sunday the Seventh Day I pray for strength as my husband helps me to get ready for church and I pray for the strength to make it through the whole service


Finally after dinner with my family at nights end I lie down to rest and pray to God for another seven days  

I loved you all with all my heart and soul. I will always be with you in everything you do. I hope this will share answers to some of your questions and be there to remind you of who I was inside behind the pain.

This is dedicated to my family, friends who walked this path with me. And to all who walk this path. I hope you will always listen for their  voice in your heart--- 




Lord let me hear you over the loud voices in my life comfort my anxious mind strengthen my tired flesh,


I try to give up too many times a day to count as the grip slips and I slowly fall to the worlds ways,


I do not fall willing but with a heart full of faith because I am Gods daughter his precious one with no flaws finally loved,


As a peaceful feeling falls over me and the pain and fear are quieted for a moment the unseen to human eyes invisible arms of my heavenly Father hold me close,


The battle of good and evil is ongoing struggle part of my life but my heart and soul belong to him the world’s pain can not touch the place where he exists in me,


My life planned long ago all these years later I finally got out of his way and let him shine on my path,


Now I say thank you for what I have become the scars are symbols of the strength he gave me to make it through ,


The emotions felt gave me wisdom beyond my own understanding to share with others in my life to look to him,


Finally some peace no one can take as I wipe the tears Gods plan for me I can hear him clearly


Be peaceful my child you can rest now I AM HERE------




 This Image and excerpt from the book Wings of Hope is copyright Cindy Russell Designs 
 Trademark Wings of Hope Designs
dedicated to Rick, Ryan, Tyler, and Travis with Love !!!!

Pen to Paper One More Time This one is for you  

 He Wiped her Tears



She was once a wide eyed child who looked at the world full of life knowing it was a true gift the things to come being a wife and a mom 

Soon life would show her that it had many twists and turns that it would  be a challenege to reach for those dreams but she held onto those dreams

She held on to hope and on the day they met things would change for there was someone to love her he could see inside those sad eyes to the joy

The joy was once again challenged as she was told she would never have children feeling lost again she prayed for strength held onto hope

Those big brown eyes shined  brightly from her heart and soul  as they told here she was going to be a mom and soon their home was full three boys each one a miracle

Over those next few years here love and time was devoted to those little lives precious gifts and wonderful memories made everyday

Strangers where just new people that would soon become part of her life as she knew of no one not worthy as he had taught her


She lived to love and care for those whose path she crossed remembered their faces, names, cared and prayed for them


Many things challenged that spirit and tried to destroy that beauty in her heart and soul

And he watched over her


But soon the light would dim in those eyes from the pain that no one saw for so long as she battled for her life

against cancer

She cried many tears alone not wanting to burden those around her but he was always there to wipe them away


Her spirit was strong and her soul full of hope but her flesh was hurting and the pain was

draining the joy of this child of God


Soon she would go home and there would be no more tears and the joy would return he

would restore that beautiful daughter he shared with us.


He was always with her in those bright eyes, smile and heart full of love he knew the pain she suffered each day but also knew the joy she brought to so many


We will question many things and this is one, but one question we know the answer to is our God cares for those we love and he will wipe your tears as well


Take peace in knowing that and cry not for sadness but for the joy that we have his promise that she will be with me still watching over you ---

You gave me so much joy through the years each one of you has a place in my heart that nothing can ever destroy. Remember that I lived and will live on forever because of you.







Please visit our guest book and share your thoughts with others no one should go through anything alone. There is always Hope everyday no matter what happens there is Faith for Another day and a rainbow at the end of the day.

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